My Funny Valentine

Last week for Valentine's Day...

My Isabelle drew me the BEST Valentine's Day card, ever!

On one side, she drew herself (the side that says "I") with some pigtails, according to Isabelle.  And the other side, she drew Mommy (the side that says "M") with a ponytail.  The ponytail looks like it's coming out of my face.  Haha!

When I got home from work on Valentine's Day, Isabelle said, "Happy Valentine's Day, Eomma!  I looooove you!"  Then she presented me with the card.  So sweet, this girl!

Isaiah, meanwhile, got to squeeze in some "Daddy time", while Alex fed him his bottle.

This year, the FOUR of us spent a low-key Valentine's Day all together at home.  I cooked dinner (one of Alex's fave meals), we put the kids to bed (a pro and con that they both go to bed around 7:30 PM), and then Alex and I put in some quality time together, laughing and catching up on some of our favorite TV shows that we dvr-ed (that were piling up since we had both been so busy).  And of course, we exchanged cards... something we never miss for any special occasion.  :)  I, of course, included Alex's favorite gift: coupons!  ;)  The man is simple!  But this year, Alex gave me some coupons of my own!!  Cha-ching!

P.S. Loving my orchids from Alex!

Adaptability... Happy Six Months

This past month Isaiah has been going through some changes.

With milestones?  Isaiah's now rolling over every which way and he's getting good at the belly scoot.  Now, we have to watch him very carefully, and we can't place him on the couch anymore.  On one hand, I'm thinking, this is so exciting!  On the other hand, I know I'm going to have to deal with those diaper changing table struggles since he'll always try to roll over mid-change!  I will always need to have one eye on Isabelle and the other on Isaiah.  Isaiah also has discovered he has a voice and is constantly squawking.  I think he's trying to keep up with his big sister.

With sleep?  Isaiah is so excited from learning to roll over that he will wake himself (and sometimes me) up in the middle of the night.  He sleeps on his tummy, but sometimes, he'll roll over unintentionally and end up on his back.  It's cute during the day, but not when I need to help him go back to sleep at 3 A.M.  I'll find him in his crib, awake, and cooing at the ceiling.  He's such a good baby, though, that if I roll him back to his tummy, he'll fall asleep almost immediately.



































With food?  Isaiah had his first taste of rice cereal, started on formula (supplementing the breastmilk), and other solid foods.  I wanted to wait longer until he was six months, but wow, the little guy sure loves to eat.  He will take anything you place near his mouth.  He did not refuse the rice cereal, nor did he hate the formula.  Isaiah only gave a gag reflex to the first time he tasted the formula, but after a couple of sips of the bottle, he downed it!  :)



































With his sister?  His face lights up when he hears her voice.  Isaiah looks for her and tries to play with her when they are together.  He watches her every move.  Isabelle, my little sassy one, loves to play with him and boss him around.  For now, Isaiah just goes along with it.

With our first baby, Isabelle, everything had to be "just so."  I had all these notions in my mind, even before she was born, of how I intended labor to be (didn't go as planned), how long I wanted to nurse (not as long as I wanted, but it's because I got pregnant and my milk changed in taste), how I wanted to sleep train (which never worked on her), and all these other issues you encounter as a new mom.

However, I've learned, very quickly, that I've had to become more adaptable to the situations that I've faced with Isaiah.  And guess what?  It's not the end of the world!  :)

Isaiah is constantly teaching me to adapt and to just "go with it", which is not always easy for me to do.  But he's such a good-natured and easy baby, that he will adjust to any changes thrown his way.  He makes me want to have a dozen babies!!  :)  Seeing this little guy smile and be open to whatever we throw his way, makes having two so easy!  Isaiah shows me how easily he adapts to life and that's a good lesson for me that I need to practice more.

Isaiah!!  I can't believe we're already half-way there to your first birthday!  Where did the time go, buddy?  Don't grow up too quickly, sweet baby boy!!  :)

Happy six months, Isaiah!

See more happy times here...

Acceptance- One Month

Balance- Two Months

Confidence- Three Months

Euphoria- Four Months
Flexibility- Five Months

Be Selfish to Sacrifice

That's what I've been learning.

This was a huge breakthrough for me, today, after our session with our FMT.  I realized, as a mom, I rarely give myself a break and feel guilty for even wanting one, let alone taking one.

I think, as moms, we always want to give, and naturally, we put our children's needs first before our own.  We don't even stop to think that we are neglecting ourselves, at times.  At least, this is true for me.  I give and give and give and don't even realize I'm giving... then I hit my breaking point.  And I snap and have meltdowns.

That's why it's important for me to be selfish.

Huh?  Selfish?  Yes.  I need to be selfish.  Sometimes.

It's a hard concept to grasp, but I need to remind myself that, sometimes, I need to take care of me first in order to be a better mom.  I need to be selfish in order to better sacrifice.  That sounds so ironic, right?  And I feel so guilty for even wanting to be selfish.  Or even use the word "selfish".  But, what I mean is I need to take care of my needs before I have that meltdown, so I can serve my kids better.

I am really not good at being deliberate and making the choice to take time out for myself.

What does that look like?  That means I need to make time to take a relaxing bath (without bath time Elmo floating around), to get a pedicure (sometimes, just because, and not for any other reason), to go on regular dates with Alex (no matter how little time we have; even if it's just for an hour), to have lunch with friends (without my kids there), to watch a movie (in the movie theater), to read a magazine (that doesn't have a picture with babies on it), to dabble in a little harmless retail therapy (for myself and not for my kids), to eat a warm meal, sitting down (not standing and eating my kids' leftovers)... you get my point.  :)

I didn't even realize I was making these choices to continually put my kids first.  Now, I need to be more conscientious to choose myself just sometimes.  :)  At times, I start the day off nourishing my kids, nurturing my kids, feeding them, loving them, playing with them, and the entire day goes and I realize I'm still in my pjs, I haven't found time to shower, and I still haven't had a decent meal.

So, now, I am learning that I need to make deliberate choices and take ten minutes out of the day to take a shower, or change my clothes, or eat a warm, non-microwaved, non-frozen meal.

When I take time for myself, I am refreshed.  I return a better mom, I'm able to better love my children, and I'm more sacrificial because I want to be.  I need to stop striving to be "the perfect mom" to my kids (whatever that may look like), and be satisfied that sometimes, "it's good enough."  :)

So, yes.  It sounds wrong at first.  But I need to be selfish in order to better sacrifice for my babies.  Isabelle and Isaiah don't make it difficult to love them (most times!)... but I am human, and I do have my breaking point!  So, this momma is going to try harder to make "me time."

I am so in love with my Isabelle and Isaiah, and I want to love them better each day.  :)

He First Loved Us

Love...

-is selfless.  I am not.  A lot of times, I am quite selfish.  I feel under-appreciated and feel the need to point out how "giving" I am with Alex or with my kids.

-takes commitment.  Especially on the tough days!  Sometimes, I feel like throwing in the towel and calling it quits, whether it's with my marriage or with my children.

-forgives easily.  I do not.  I hold on to things sometimes and harbor bitter feelings that I later realize I had because I didn't deal with them earlier in that moment.

-shows mercy and generosity.  I struggle with that at times.  My heart seems to shrink instead of grow, lacking in compassion.

Love is something I work on daily.  Some days, it comes more easily.  Other days, it's a struggle and a challenge.

Of course, the passage that usually comes to mind with love is 1 Corinthians 13.  This passage was my Love Day reminder for last year's Valentine's.

But this Valentine's Day, I am reminded of this verse: We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).  It is so simple.  I need to love Alex, my kids, and others better because I have been shown the ultimate love from God.  Believe it or not, I am not always a walk in the park (haha!) and it is humbling to know that God loves me so much... every little part of me, both the good and the unlikable.

This past Saturday, I snapped.  I had a meltdown.  It was one of those mornings when everything seemed to be going wrong.  I accidentally let Isabelle sleep with her pull-ups on, which was a bad idea because everything leaked onto her bed.  I was not happy doing laundry at 6:00 A.M.  Isaiah, the best non-sleep-trained sleeper, who usually sleeps for 12 plus hours, decided he wanted to whine and play for 2 straight hours from 1:30 A.M. to 3:30 A.M.  I was not happy when he finally slept, then woke up at his usual time, 5:30 A.M., to eat.  Alex, who had gone out the night before, was unaware and sleeping so cozily and peacefully in our comfy-looking bed.  I wanted to shake him, wake him up, make him deal with everything, and then retreat to our bed, curl up, and go to sleep.  It was Saturday, after all.

I wanted to escape from my family.  Instead, I became cranky, complained, and then cried.

Alex could have easily been angry back at me since I was in such a foul mood that morning.  Instead, he exercised love.  He calmly looked at me, and said so genuinely, "Sweetie, you are such a good mom.  You're doing a really great job and our kids love you so much."  I looked at him, surprised at his response to my "tantrum".  He went on by jokingly stating, "I'm glad to know you can have your 'moments', because I didn't know if you were human!  It's okay to mess up."  Isabelle looked at me, hugged me, and said with a smile, "Eomma... are you happy?!"

My heart melted.

Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with a family who loves me so effortlessly.  Especially when I am unlovable.  I need to love better.

I love because God first loved me... He is the Ultimate "Valentine" and the best example of love.

P.S. Thanks for offering to babysit our children, Jenn!  I love you for that!!  :)  We may take you and Daniel up on that one day.  For now, we have no plans... haha!

Comeuppance

So, you would think that I've learned my lesson by now.  But I guess the answer is no.

I was getting ready to put Isaiah down for his nap.  And of course, it was unusually quiet.  My instinct should've been to check up on Isabelle, but I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.  Although she had gotten into trouble before, she had also proved that she could be trusted.

This time, Isabelle got herself into a big mess.  A big, gooey, greasy, Aquaphor mess!

When I went to put Isaiah down, I saw that Isabelle had climbed up onto the changing table and gotten into two tubs of Aquaphor.  We have tons of Aquaphor in this house to help with the eczema, and I guess Isabelle thought she'd apply some?  To every part her sneaky hands could reach: her face, hair, toes, hands, and clothes... SIGH!

I took a minute to decide if I should clean up first or grab a camera first.  Looking at her slathering the Aquaphor on her hair, I couldn't help but think of the story my mom had told me countless times.  Apparently, when I was Isabelle's age, my cousin and I had poured all the contents of the vegetable oil onto the linoleum floor in the kitchen.  We didn't stop there, but instead, when my mom and grandma came in to see what the commotion was all about, my cousin and I told them we were going "swimming" as we "swam" in oil.  I guess I got my comeuppance?  :-/  I grabbed my camera first, then handled clean up.

Clean up was not fun.  Neither was disciplining Isabelle to make sure she would not do this again in the future.  But I guess, one day, this will make for a good story.  :)

Growing!

Our married couples group has been steadily growing.  If I look back to previous posts, I can see how much we have grown.  Last weekend, Alex and I ended up taking our two sick babies up to the mountains to join our married couples.  We were only there briefly because we weren't able to join for the entire time.  Not everyone was able to attend, but it was such a blessed time.  I felt encouraged to become a better parent to my children through the messages from our guest speaker.

Our babies (not just mine, but all the babies of our married couples group) have grown since the very first retreat, when Isabelle was only three months old.  There have also been lots of new couples who joined since last year's retreat, when Isabelle was thirteen months old.  It's pretty encouraging to see the friendships that have blossomed from our married couples amongst the parents as well as the children.

Here's my only photo of the retreat...

These other pictures were taken in our cabin, on our last morning, when the babies had both woken up.  Isabelle had so much fun climbing up and down the bunk bed ladder.  She kept saying, "I want to sleep up there, Eomma."  Also, as Alex packed up the car, I took that time to snap up some photos of Isabelle, who was having fun kicking her feet into the dirt.  :)

Looking forward to see what God has in store for our growing married couples and babies!

Too Quiet

Sometimes, I crave peace and quiet.  Actually, a LOT of times I crave it!  I work in a big classroom full of vibrant, talkative, active second graders during my work week.  And at home, I have my two-year old, Isabelle, who does not stop talking, and five and a half month old, Isaiah, who has become a screamer and squealer.  I feel like there is a constant buzzing all the time!

So, needless to say, sometimes I need silence.

The other day, I got my wish.  The house was calm, quiet, and tranquil.  Isaiah had just gone down for a nap.  I thought of ways I could enjoy this peaceful time.  But I stopped.  It was too quiet.  Like "something's wrong quiet".  What was Isabelle doing?  Whenever it's too quiet, she's usually getting into some kind of trouble.

This is how I found her... READING!

I grabbed my camera and started snapping away.  This sweet little girl was so absorbed with her books, Isabelle didn't even notice that I was taking pictures of her.

I guess "too quiet" doesn't always mean she's causing trouble!  :)