wons upon a time...: Flexibility... Happy Five Months

Ahhh... I feel like I've been stretched in every way possible since returning back to work three weeks ago. When I am at school, I know I give my best to my kids and I try to provide the best instruction they can receive, in addition to loving them as much as possible. But then, my work week stops on a Tuesday or Wednesday (I am a part-time second grade teacher), and then my babies at home need me. Still, my work seems to follow me home. Whether I'm bringing home the tears of a student who is in a foster home with many other foster children already, or the neediness of many other students who just seem to crave any sort of attention, to the pressures of "test, test, test", or trying to juggle the demands of working in education in today's world, I feel stretched. Even though my paycheck shows part-time teacher, I am full-time. And that's my struggle.

Why? Because I have two babies waiting for me to be a full-time mommy when I come home. I struggle with the fact that I am physically and mentally exhausted by the time I come home from work. I struggle with the fact that I am physically and mentally exhausted on the days I am not working. Then, I get frustrated with myself for feeling so tired and needing more rest, that I can't seem to remember how to juggle my two babies and their needs, while eyeing my schoolwork on the side.

I am drained and trying to "do it all"- cleaning the house, cooking the meals, doing the laundry, washing the dishes, going grocery shopping, bathing the kids, feeding the kids, loving the kids, pumping and pumping (ugh!), reminding myself to take a shower, changing endless diapers, grading Language Arts assessments, planning ahead to teach certain standards, and the list could go on. In the middle of it all, I have forgotten that God is in control and I need to let go and have a different outlook! I feel like I am stretching myself out with every "hat" I wear.

So, I have been feeling like Elastigirl from the movie, The Incredibles. Except I am not a superhero. But I do feel like I'm being pulled and stretched from every demand I place on myself to meet and sometimes wish I could physically stretch myself out the way Elastigirl does!

Isaiah has been exercising his flexibility, too, in a non-super hero way. Lately, he has discovered his toes! :) He's grabbing on his toes all the time, roly-poly-ing around from side to side (he hasn't quite rolled over enough times successfully, yet), and sliding and spinning around on his tummy.

Isaiah has also found his voice. At his four month check up, the doctor asked if Isaiah was screaming yet. At that time, the answer was no. He was giving sweet coos and maybe an occasional squawk, but no screams. That has all changed. He will randomly scream as if he realized sound can come out of his vocal chords. Most of the time, it's cute. :)

He still sleeps well on most nights, sleeping at 7:30 P.M. and waking up at 8:30 A.M. with one feeding time at 5:00 A.M. But when he has an off day (usually when I'm at work), he has an off night with his sleep. He's great with taking the bottle and with nursing. Isaiah plays more with the toys around him and is constantly grabbing things, especially my hair. Still drooling like crazy from teething, his clothes are usually soaked (eww!) from neck to chest.

Isaiah is different in some ways and similar in other ways from how Isabelle was at his age. Isaiah doesn't like to bounce like his sister did at this age, but he does like the jumperoo. Not to jump, and not even to play with the toys, but Isaiah will test each toy out to see how it works. He's very serious when he does this. I can almost see a light bulb click above his head! Haha! :) He's not quite ready for solids like his sister was, but he is definitely showing interest. (I think I'll wait as long as I can before he needs this!) Isaiah likes having a blanket (or something to hold on to) in one hand (like his sister), and his thumb in his mouth with the other hand (unlike his sister). Isaiah loves getting hugs (especially from me!) and giving hugs (especially to me!). But my favorite thing of all? Getting him to laugh... the best sound ever! :)

Happy five months, Isaiah!